ROZ
Roz's White Folks Guide To Being "Funk-tified"

1. No "White Bite"! This is for all you white folks who are so tempted to fold that bottom lip under and shut your eyes when you're groovin'. BIG NO!!!!!

2. Under no circumstances are you to use the slang term "nizzo". Even if you hear your African-American cubicle co-worker use - don't you dare! This word does not mean "neighbor", but it does translate into "death wish" if used improperly.

3. If you are driving on the freeway and you hear a song that was "yo' jam" back in the day, do the following:
a. Pull Over
b. Get Out
c. Throw your hands in the air and holla "heeeey!!!!"
d. Do yo' thang baby!
* and by the way, make sure you have bail money for when 'the man' rolls up on you.

4. Only give a high five if you know how to do it properly. Not 'too' high - remember you're not high-fivin' Shaq. And don't reach way "back to Kenosha" and slap real hard - you're not killing a mosquito.

5. The following slang terms have been approved by R.A.P. (Roz's Auditory Program)
a. Muggin' & Flossin' - standing and looking good
b. Actin' Booty - being a jerk ex. "The waitress was actin' booty when she brought me my Vienna blue plate special".
c. Hot Mess - something that is, or looks horrible. "Girl, her hair was lookin' a hot mess".